Nidhis.daily.blog

Author: nidhikaintura23

  • Who doesn’t want a trophy kid

    So the kid comes back from school and is recollecting his day over meal. When I asked about the highlight of the school today, he mentioned fellow classmates getting trophies and certificates for great performances in sports.

    He ended it by saying why don’t I get such trophies. And it left me a bit surprised that a 7 year old is defining his sense of achievement openly. Happy I was to hear him understand and appreciate someone’s achievements and wish to emulate the same. At the same time sad I was that the kid felt small about himself.

    So I reminded him of his acts of kindness from a day before. He was on his best behavior leading a younger kid – hosting, engaging and trying to connect with him. To me his being kind, social and adjusting is the biggest trophy any parent can ever get.

  • Can we love twice?

    ‘We only live once, we only love once’ went the famous dialogue from a romantic love story. Read along to prove its untrue and yes you can learn to love multiple times over.

    How do u define what love is to your kid? Is it an overwhelming sense of affection, or is it a strong sense of attachment or is it a sense of deep concern? There is no one feeling which can describe it accurately. And no one way of expressing one’s love.

    When you feel a strong sense of affection towards your baby, it is nothing but the feeling of love. You show it by your actions of taking utmost care of it, doing all you can to keep it safe and away from any harms.

    Or is love the deep sense of concern you shower on your lover? Wherein you can or cannot care by your actions but go all lengths to express your concern for their well being. Where all you can do is communicate in formal ways and let them drive their own well being.

    Or is love the charged level of enthusiasm which makes you spend hours watching football? Or the deep belief in climate change or Downs syndrome which drives you to go lengths to give your time to support the cause.

    Or is love the passion you express for your spouse or partner? The sense of unbroken commitment, lifelong fidelity and infinite companionship which makes you commit to them.

    So to me all forms of love are true, pure and sincere. And yes you can harbour each of them in your mighty little heart for your loved ones – all at the same time.

  • Romance for the single souls?

    Is being romantic only the territory of couples? How can singles keep the romance in life alive?

    Romance is nothing but a feeling of mystery and excitement, often associated with love. It takes you away from everyday life and builds a sense of remoteness.

    Love yourself  – Spend time your own way without any shackles or constraints. Unhinged and unabashedly keep aside a few minutes everyday to spend time the way you like, not dictated by your daily routine, chores or family commitments.

    Prioritize yourself – Hobbies, food, outfits, events. The choice is yours and only yours. Guard it selfishly, cos if you don’t decide for yourself then others would!

    Keep your network alive – Whether it is friends, family or colleagues keep in touch and invest your time in nurturing these for the future. After all no man’s an island (or woman for that matter).

    In short enjoy the little things in life. Sans anyone. Be the best companion you can ever get, full of positivity and strength. Trust me, no one can do it for you!

  • How to make your marriage work

    Matches may be made in heaven but marriages are made on earth and need nurturing like any other earthling. So whether you choose your spouse or your parents did, whether you dated your spouse for long time or few months, it is rare that 2 people are doing the ‘waltz’ absolutely in sync all the time. There would be mis-steps here and a beat lost there, but as long as you can correct your form – the show can go on!

    Here is my mantra of keeping at it, coming from a pool of decades of marriage experience and multiple conversations with married couples.

    Team work – It’s a team play with your spouse, so there can be only 1 leader at a time. So lead here, follow there. ‘cos 200% is also a problem so don’t expect a 100% from them every single time.  There would always be a leader and a follower in each situation, keep true to your strengths and let the other person lead too.

    Preserving individuality – Keeping to your me time and staying true to it. Yes we could spend every living moment with our spouse, but trust me that would leave you with no room (literally). So keep to your hobbies, a happier you would result in a happier ‘us’.

    Acknowledging the differences – not turning your spouse into your clone, after all you married then for being themselves. Easier said than done but please embrace the diversity they bring – whether in food or parenting.

    Talk talk talk, just talk it out. Don’t sleep over the arguments, cold war doesn’t help anyone ever. So whatever be the situation, make sure to communicate with your spouse and not just shut down.

    So keep coming back to these basics to keep life stress free. After all no marriage is perfect by design, you have to make it memorable by choice.

  • Love or friendship?

    As I settle at my cup of coffee on this wonderful day, my mind wanders to the message I received from a long lost friend. & I wonder what if one has to choose between love and friendship. I don’t mean choosing between your lover and your friends, I mean what if you can only either be a friend or a lover to someone.

    The new generation calls it friendzoning i.e., turning a potential lover into a friend and thereby in the parking lot. And that works well for keeping a list of ‘warm leads’ or potential future partners as the youngsters want to explore more options before settling into a commitment with one.

    I wonder if there could be another use case for friendzone. Could it be used to part ways amicably and still keep friends with someone who knows you like no one else. Someone you have loved truly madly deeply.

    In short, can lovers ever be friends?

  • Burden of memories

    For all the years past, all the love lost and all the silence borne. I wish I could cry in your arms until the tears stopped flowing. I wish I could erase the memories sparing just the laughs. I wish I could ease the pain until only love remained.

    I wish I could find words to express. Courage to ask forgiveness. Strength to meet you. Intellect to rein emotions. I want to keep the memories minus the aches, the experience without the trauma and the faces without the words that were exchanged.

    In forgiveness I seek freedom. Freedom from guilt, ache, painful memories and all the sufferings related to it. For in my mind I am still the wrong doer who is out free and hence doesn’t deserve to be happy.

  • Husbands, keep staring at your wife!

    In the midst of the work life balance debate sparked by the management of a leading Indian conglomerate, I would like to flip the narrative from the lens of a wife. The wife who lovingly waits for her husband to be back from a long tiring day of work (and the commute most undertake to reach their place of work on a daily basis) and spend quality time with her. She’s been busy managing the home and family single handedly.

    The wife who is equally burnt out after her day of work (and related commute). She battled the first shift of paid work and is now in her second shift of unpaid work tending to the home and family.

    In all probability, the wife (or girlfriend) is your companion for longer than your employer is going to be. So go ahead and invest time (and diamonds) in your better half. She is your pillar of strength, the source of constant warmth, the consistent cheerleader who doesn’t bat an eyelid being critical.

  • Kindness – A universal language

    Are we being kind only when taking care of our family? Or also when we extend care-giving to our elders and sick ones? Or is kindness only reserved for our interactions outside our homes. Like when we hold the elevator for our neighbours? Or when we greet our friendly grocery guy?

    Or is it an act of kindness when a cabbie offers you extra tips and hacks in a new city? Or a stranger in the waiting queue guides you to the best dishes of the restaurant you are waiting to dine in?

    Kindness needs no language or religion. It’s the global unifying tie that can bind all humanity. Only if we remember that small acts of kindness can keep our earth flourishing with love and warmth for centuries to come

  • How to train your Husband

    A supportive hubby is a fundamental necessity for any working woman. Once the invisible load is shared equally, it gives wings to both spouses to fulfill their ambitions. Alas fully trained husbands are superbly low in supply. So here’s how to become an in-house trainer.

    The early bird catches the worm so can be applied to the boyfriend as well. So start early by constructing simple single verb tasks for him. Keep doling out atomic tasks thereby enabling him to manage the whole area say laundry or dishes end to end by the end of the training period.

    Nothing better than training our sons – after all childhood lessons shape the personality. Teaching life skills like cooking, meal planning, running a home to a boy ensures we add to the supply pool of future ‘trained husbands’. Yes you can thank me later.

  • Yeh meri family hai (La Familia)

    Sharing our day’s highlights over dinner. Sundays spent tending the garden, washing the car and plucking fruits as cherished prizes. Of course mom cooked a sumptuous meal of chicken curry rice and it was topped off by jalebi (indian dessert cooked like churos but dipped in sugar syrup after frying). Mom & dad gave us the best childhood we could ever have had. Yeh meri family hai.

    Waking up to the sound of prayers and the smell of incense sticks. Breakfast laid out, our favourite dishes made all at one go. Mummy and papa (read husband’s parents or my parents in laws) pampering us to bits. Yeh meri family hai.

    Building new rituals of hiking, spending time in nature, conscious spending and repurposing broken things. Proud of our values, our principles and ever evolving bond. Yeh meri family hai.