Nidhis.daily.blog

Author: nidhikaintura23

  • 40 before 40 – Part IV

    ‘Forty till I die’ is the new mantra these days. Afterall we are past our learnings in career, relationship and child rearing by now, so seems this is the gorgeous ‘be yourself, be free’ decade to live life queen size. So here is the last in the series of what every woman should aim to get under her belt before turning 40!

    Set soft guardrails : Don’t be a doormat. Set reasonable boundaries to secure your energies. Be soft yet intentional about spending your time wisely.

    Find your comfort food : A family dish, a neighbourhood meal – whatever is your pick, keep it handy and accessible. Afterall a known pallete can lift moods just like that.

    Balance it out : You don’t have to be prim and perfect all the time. Allow yourself to be human and have your days – both glamorous and homebody. Maturity is behaving the same externally irrespective of your internal mood chart.

    Stay informed : Needless to say, it’s an era of information overload. So it’s hard to miss the buzz – social, political, economical unless you have been living under a rock. A fair awareness of the pulse helps you formulate opinions when required.

    Forgive & forget : Be kind. Start with yourself first. Others come next. Afterall life is too short to keep scores and even them out.

    Delegate and doze off : Learn to outsource, offload and organize your time better. Make peace with quality of work and don’t bother micro-managing the new task owner. Whether at work or home, reward yourself with bytes of free time this way.

    Art of critique : It takes practise to give feedback without hurting. Yet your wise words should be action-worthy or they sound hollow. Perfect this interpersonal skill to manevour life more smoothly.

    Explore a new genre : Come on, you arent too old to try a new form. Whether it’s dance, music, cinema or or art, step out of the comfort zone. Give a new genre an honest shot and you may end up being a fan yourself!

    Embrace aging with grace : The greys, wrinkles, fine lines or whatever signs of aging you are showing up – it makes you you. Lap them up with grace and charm. Lady you are worth all the years you have lived so why hide behind young veils!

    Plan special days : & don’t wait for anyone to do it for you. Cos by now you have perfected the art of planning for others so time to shower yourself with love too. Take the pressure off others and dwell in the memories made!

  • Reflections

    Not all athletes win an olympic gold. Not all scientists get the Nobel prize. Not all authors win a Booker prize. So why burden yourself with the pressure of outperforming?

    Not saying to not chase your dreams. Neither proposing giving up your passion or profession. Just a wild Wednesday reflection of why not revel in being you. Why always chase titles, awards, prizes and accolades. Why not enjoy the journey itself. Why look for assurances in achievements. Why not stay self contained. Why seek validation externally. Why not discover peace within.

    Cherish. Be grateful. Nourish. Ruminate. Preserve. Construct. Unlearn. Relearn. Think out of the box. Eureka moments don’t happen in chaos. They need a reflective state of mind to nurture.

    Not all of us would go on to accomplish larger than life goals. So better most of us start cherishing the moments as they pass and savour the memories built around them.

  • 40 before 40 – Part III

    May the ‘fourth’ be with you! Said the wise Yoda to his fellow Jedis. This one’s dedicated to a friend who is nerves as she nears turning forty. Is she overthinking – yes, no. It’s equally graceful to be anxious about future as it is to be a calm cucumber – to each her own. So continuing from before what every woman should aim to get under her belt before turning 40!

    Start experimenting : Hair style, lip color, eye shades, everything makeup and fashion. Afterall YOLO so why stick to safe choices, rather try fun variants every now & then.

    Date nights : Married, committed or single – dating should be mandatory for all. Dress up, leaving behind your routine worries and do something new together. It could be a movie, hobby class or plain vanilla dinner. Idea is to spend time with your partner to keep the romantic fire alive!

    Pen it down : That book, blog, docu, vlog whatever has been pending since ages. Time to bring it out of the blueprint and put out in flesh. Make a loosely structured workplan and aim to wrap it up before your next birthday.

    Weeds amongst the bush

    Learn about your roots : Whenever you interact with your elders, dwell deeper about your culture. It could be collecting simple hacks about recipes, common ailments, family tree or festivities. Helps make your own rituals culturally rich and more meaningful.

    Know your favs : Whether it’s outfits or food or hobbies or people. Bear your favourites in mind and guard your boundaries using them. Start choosing yourself and embrace the joy it brings.

    Look inwards : Connect with your self energy. Whether by means of yoga, meditation, journaling or gardening. A hobby that helps you connect body mind and helps you become your own best friend.

    Perfect your pitch : Yet keep it tailored for the audience. How you connect to your partner should be different from how you interact with younglings at work or home. Start interacting with each person uniquely to build deeper, meaningful connections.

    Finnese a skill : That bucket list of ‘I want to learn xyz’ which has been at the backburner. Bring it to spotlight and commit too it. Start with babysteps and take expert help to fine tune your swimming/driving/cooking/sketching.

    Stay sharp : Be mindful in your choice of words. Position and present yourself per the person on the other side. It’s not a crime to keep quiet but it’s a charm to know what to sell how and where.

    Reconnect : That long lost friend, the colleague who got busy, the ex-lover who you lost touch with. Give everyone a chance to be part of your life – some may stay, some may wander – their loss!

  • Get Better At Living

    Always in a hurry. Multitasking forever. Feel like you are chasing endless goals from an infinitely long bucket list.

    The constant aim is to make our lives better. Bigger, faster, anything superlative is what we are tirelessly (& most often mindlessly) working at. What if we chase being better at living instead of the constant desire to upgrade our lives.

    #MetroMonday

    Let’s not assume it’s a death of ambitions. Nor is it that I am preaching slow thinking or deferring decision-making. It’s more about keeping yourself and your core constant in whatever life throws at you. You can only control your physical body, not even subtle body, then why put up a fight with the situations, circumstances and behaviours of others. All of these are external to your locus of control anyways.

    Look inward and guard your space. Keep up your own spirits. Build your own routines. Walk a new path. Put on your playlist and float in the music. If someone lends a shoulder every now & then, embrace it and be grateful about it. Get better at living whatever life throws at you!

  • Presence >>> presents

    Do you feel neglected if your dear ones don’t send you a well-remebered gift? Do you always scramble to be the best friend who steals the thunder with her bouquet of presents?

    The poor spend money but the rich spend time. And truly enough, time is the biggest gift you can give to anyone or get gifted in turn!

    And it all boils down to quality time. Not necesarily hours spent gossiping idle but definitely being their in the moments of need. It may not be a big spend of riches but being able to put you on their schedule and prioritize it is the biggest gesture of it all.

    In today’s world we are all time poor so sending across a gift is a no-brainer. But being able to make time and spend it well is the ‘it’ thing. It’s the next big thing because you are valued in the minutes spent with you and not just the dollars spent on you.

    So look for big intent, big conversations, big heart and not big wallet alone!

  • Growth in Stillness

    How do you react to stillness? Do you dread it because busyness is your middle name? Or do you embrace it in the garb of laziness? Or do you find it comes naturally to you?

    Being still is an art. And like every other art form, it take practise. Hours and hours of practise to be able to master it.

    So start small, and not be meditating with your mind. First meditate with your body. Keep your focus undiverted at the task at hand and stay at it without itching to pick up the next task or the next thought.

    It would be discomforting to begin with. Staying calm and undisturbed doesn’t come easy. Fleeting thoughts, feelings and to-do list float around you. You swim in the sea of constant chaos. So find your comfort in this discomfort.

    Once you master your concentration skills, start lengthening the same and put it to work while doing nothing. Or simply put meditate for a brief period. Anxiety comes natural to us humans. Choose stillness over it, start small but start today.

  • Breathe Of Love

    Are you thriving or existing? Do you feel life is not being lived in moments but is slipping through you hands like grains of sand.

    What if you could experience each breath laden with compassion? Each of your life moments could be full of love and warmth. Your every action could carry the stamp of kindness and empathy.

    Mighty I stand

    It is not that you would turn into a pushover or a doormat who is easy to please and get things done. Neither does it imply you need to be all giving despite your inner biases. Firm yet polite. Calm but clear. Assertive and not arrogant. Giving yet worldly wise. And all of this is possible if your inner state is one of peace, tranquility, sufficiency and bliss.

    It means being in a yogic state of existence beyond the meditation session or the asana on the exercise mat. Thereby living each breath full of love.

  • Live-in To Check-out

    Prince charming. Queen of heart. Can we ever know if they are the one? Or is it always a mystery to be lived out in order to solve?

    The eyes met. The hearts fluttered. The minds melted and the souls mingled. They are the one. Or are they? Can a qualitative method shut the doubts? Or a quantitative method help nail the decision?

    Moving in and living together gives you a glimpse of such aspects of their persona. It’s like catching the details even while you are swooning with puppy love. It helps capture moments together – of vulnerability, of strength, of frustration and of victories.

    Love them or hate them, this way you can not ignore their true self. They can only put up a facade when casually catching up for date nights and weekend getaways. But can they fake an entire living month? Yes if acting is their profession! But most likely than not, this is where you are both bare and raw with your emotions, habits, personalities and lifestyle aspirations. Fair bet you say!

    So love is not just to live, love, laugh together but also to fight, fathom and sometimes frustrate your love interest.

  • Heartache

    I long to be away, aching to break free from routine.

    Weaving dreams of the blue sky, the endless greens and the tall ridges.

    Waking to a sunrise, cooking a simple meal and mending my countable belongings.

    Or climbing to the top of the hills, soaking in the view as far as the horizon exists.

    My eyes long for those meandering paths, that take you back in time, old and new sitting along side.

    But as the dawn nears, I sink in sadness, full of longing, and swim in grief.

    I shall miss you is an under statement, I shall never leave is a mirage.

    I built it all, I tend to it, It has a piece of my soul.

    Every corner, every nook, cared for, lived in and yet still weaving memories.

    Aging with me, defining me, sometimes being an identifier for my persona.

    It’s weird to love the inanimate, but I can’t help profess my feelings.

    Made of brick and mortar, put together over the years, like the pieces of a worn out puzzle.

    Indeed, home is where the heart is.

  • Words Can Move

    While silence is golden, words are potent tools. A double edged sword, they can make or break.

    Words can bind. The vows we take, the unsaid promises we make. The desires we express, the love we experience. The warmth we feel, the comfort we share. The memories we build, the delicate moments we weave.

    Words can disconnect. The anger we seeth, the sadness we live with. The scars on our soul, the cerebral zones we lock away. The experiences we erase, the hurt we disguise. The distance we build, the bridges we burn.

    Words run deep

    Words can heal. The illustration of existence, the epiphany of life. The bandage we apply, the balm we rub in. The smile which runs through our body, the shedding of baggage. The presence of acknowledgment, the comfort of being.

    Words are signals. They can mean or they can be mean. Words are a piece of the puzzle or the peace itself.