Nidhis.daily.blog

Category: forties

  • 40 before 40 – Part IV

    ‘Forty till I die’ is the new mantra these days. Afterall we are past our learnings in career, relationship and child rearing by now, so seems this is the gorgeous ‘be yourself, be free’ decade to live life queen size. So here is the last in the series of what every woman should aim to get under her belt before turning 40!

    Set soft guardrails : Don’t be a doormat. Set reasonable boundaries to secure your energies. Be soft yet intentional about spending your time wisely.

    Find your comfort food : A family dish, a neighbourhood meal – whatever is your pick, keep it handy and accessible. Afterall a known pallete can lift moods just like that.

    Balance it out : You don’t have to be prim and perfect all the time. Allow yourself to be human and have your days – both glamorous and homebody. Maturity is behaving the same externally irrespective of your internal mood chart.

    Stay informed : Needless to say, it’s an era of information overload. So it’s hard to miss the buzz – social, political, economical unless you have been living under a rock. A fair awareness of the pulse helps you formulate opinions when required.

    Forgive & forget : Be kind. Start with yourself first. Others come next. Afterall life is too short to keep scores and even them out.

    Delegate and doze off : Learn to outsource, offload and organize your time better. Make peace with quality of work and don’t bother micro-managing the new task owner. Whether at work or home, reward yourself with bytes of free time this way.

    Art of critique : It takes practise to give feedback without hurting. Yet your wise words should be action-worthy or they sound hollow. Perfect this interpersonal skill to manevour life more smoothly.

    Explore a new genre : Come on, you arent too old to try a new form. Whether it’s dance, music, cinema or or art, step out of the comfort zone. Give a new genre an honest shot and you may end up being a fan yourself!

    Embrace aging with grace : The greys, wrinkles, fine lines or whatever signs of aging you are showing up – it makes you you. Lap them up with grace and charm. Lady you are worth all the years you have lived so why hide behind young veils!

    Plan special days : & don’t wait for anyone to do it for you. Cos by now you have perfected the art of planning for others so time to shower yourself with love too. Take the pressure off others and dwell in the memories made!

  • 40 before 40 – Part III

    May the ‘fourth’ be with you! Said the wise Yoda to his fellow Jedis. This one’s dedicated to a friend who is nerves as she nears turning forty. Is she overthinking – yes, no. It’s equally graceful to be anxious about future as it is to be a calm cucumber – to each her own. So continuing from before what every woman should aim to get under her belt before turning 40!

    Start experimenting : Hair style, lip color, eye shades, everything makeup and fashion. Afterall YOLO so why stick to safe choices, rather try fun variants every now & then.

    Date nights : Married, committed or single – dating should be mandatory for all. Dress up, leaving behind your routine worries and do something new together. It could be a movie, hobby class or plain vanilla dinner. Idea is to spend time with your partner to keep the romantic fire alive!

    Pen it down : That book, blog, docu, vlog whatever has been pending since ages. Time to bring it out of the blueprint and put out in flesh. Make a loosely structured workplan and aim to wrap it up before your next birthday.

    Weeds amongst the bush

    Learn about your roots : Whenever you interact with your elders, dwell deeper about your culture. It could be collecting simple hacks about recipes, common ailments, family tree or festivities. Helps make your own rituals culturally rich and more meaningful.

    Know your favs : Whether it’s outfits or food or hobbies or people. Bear your favourites in mind and guard your boundaries using them. Start choosing yourself and embrace the joy it brings.

    Look inwards : Connect with your self energy. Whether by means of yoga, meditation, journaling or gardening. A hobby that helps you connect body mind and helps you become your own best friend.

    Perfect your pitch : Yet keep it tailored for the audience. How you connect to your partner should be different from how you interact with younglings at work or home. Start interacting with each person uniquely to build deeper, meaningful connections.

    Finnese a skill : That bucket list of ‘I want to learn xyz’ which has been at the backburner. Bring it to spotlight and commit too it. Start with babysteps and take expert help to fine tune your swimming/driving/cooking/sketching.

    Stay sharp : Be mindful in your choice of words. Position and present yourself per the person on the other side. It’s not a crime to keep quiet but it’s a charm to know what to sell how and where.

    Reconnect : That long lost friend, the colleague who got busy, the ex-lover who you lost touch with. Give everyone a chance to be part of your life – some may stay, some may wander – their loss!

  • Presence >>> presents

    Do you feel neglected if your dear ones don’t send you a well-remebered gift? Do you always scramble to be the best friend who steals the thunder with her bouquet of presents?

    The poor spend money but the rich spend time. And truly enough, time is the biggest gift you can give to anyone or get gifted in turn!

    And it all boils down to quality time. Not necesarily hours spent gossiping idle but definitely being their in the moments of need. It may not be a big spend of riches but being able to put you on their schedule and prioritize it is the biggest gesture of it all.

    In today’s world we are all time poor so sending across a gift is a no-brainer. But being able to make time and spend it well is the ‘it’ thing. It’s the next big thing because you are valued in the minutes spent with you and not just the dollars spent on you.

    So look for big intent, big conversations, big heart and not big wallet alone!

  • 40 before 40 – Part II

    The fuck it forties – a unique yet apt title by a friend who is almost finished sailing through her fourth decade around the sun. Maybe, maybe not, but anyways may your aging be as exciting as this time bucket list! So I am continuing to jot down the accomplishments that every woman should aim to get under her belt before turning 40.

    Do your bit for the nature. Afterall we got only one planet earth as there is no plan B. So start small by saving electricity, sorting your garbage, switching to sustainable products and practices. Then take some formal steps with like minded folks, the local community and be a sustainability champion whom people follow even IRL.

    Build basic knowledge of your spiritual scriptures. Maybe you are god-fearing, maybe you are not. In either ways, a good thorough read of your religious scriptures might leave you with a deep understanding of philosophy, way of life and a know-how of how to navigate daily life. So whatever be your spiritual awareness level today, consuming bite sized information would only add dimension to your aging!

    Do nothing day. Yes you heard it right, mark it on your calendars and swear by it. Think of it as a day of ‘paid time off’ from your role and titles. If you are a home-maker, do no chores on this day. If you are employed or self-employed, take a day off spend time on a hobby deeply. If you are a new mom, just ditch childcare and pamper yourself by stepping out in your finest outfits!

    Friend date. Because finding a date is hard work but friends are always here for you! So step out with your girlfriend and have a gala time.

    Bike. Or if you are a biker girl, gear up and push the pedal (or the gear). After all who doesn’t like the thrill of breeze in your hair, some sweat on the forehead and a freewheeling ride down the neighbourhood.

    Grow a plant. There is no greater wonder in the world than watching a living being grow. So sow some seeds or invest in a sapling from the friendly nursery and start nurturing the plant. Build it into your daily routine and be proud of keeping it alive & thriving as a responsible adult.

    Hike. Being in nature is a natural endorphin booster. A cheap and free dose of feel good with some cardio and fresh air to top it with.

    DIY. Build something with your own hands, from scratch. It could be as simple as an origami craft, a new recipe or a lovely crochet that you have saved on your pinterest board since long.

    Handywoman. Spend a day with the toolbox and go all around the house fixing all the loose screws & hanging nuts and bolts. As they say a stitch in time saves nine, derive some sense of accomplishment by being the lady version of a ‘handyman’.

    Face yoga. Aging but wanting to age with grace. Then find some good source of face yoga, the basic ones which use muscle pull without using fancy equipments or more investments than what you already have. & thank me later for saving you a million in face lifts and tucks which your dermatologist would have earned instead.

  • 40 before 40 – Part I

    The furious fourties – a decade where you are neither young nor old. More like a sandwich situation. The recount of my sisterhood who have hit this milestone of aging range from liberating to imprisoning. Seems the fourth decade around the sun is infact a double-edged sword. Forewarned is forearmed, so here is a time bucket list of accomplishments that every woman should aim to get under her belt before turning 40!

    Solo travel. From something as exotic as a mountain sojourn to something as reasonable as a stay-cation in the home city – being on your own hits differently. You are unattached from the various roles you play, rediscovering yourself as an individual. The quiet, the solitude, the unknown, the discoveries – you can own them all. Bonus – it does wonder for your self confidence.

    Meditate. While levitating seems out of the world but meditating can help channelise your blocked energies and find a vent out. A peaceful one where you can let go of your thoughts and train your mind for strength. So start practising a few minutes of quiet everyday, allow mindfulness to engulf you.

    Day out with the maiden family. Plan some block of time with your parents and siblings, just like old times. Bond over memories forgotten, rummage through childhood treasures or just spend time at leisure with each other cosying up over nostalgic food and wine. Bonus it’s a huge dopamine dose without burning hole in the pocket.

    Give back to society. Start finding means to volunteer your time and efforts. Chose a cause close to your heart – beach clean up, teaching underprivileged kids or caring for silver citizens. Deploy your skills at a not-for-profit organization and make the world around you a better place. One day at a time.

    Join a sports group. Pick up your favourite sport – indoor or outdoor and start bonding with like minded folks over it. Give yourself another social channel to mingle at and since it’s a game the cognitive and physiological benefits are yours to reap anyways.

    Find your poison

    Girls only itinerary. Invest in thrills and frills with your girl gang. Spend time with your sisterhood exploring diverse interests from wine-tasting to knitting to glamping. Splurge, spend or save – choice is yours. Idea is to cosy up with your favourite women and leave your worries behind.

    Try a new hobby. You think you can’t paint – then pick up a brush and learn. You think reading is too boring then join a bookclub. Or you find baking cumbersome, look for a baking guru whose sessions can inspire your inner pattiserrie. Giving a diverse, completely untried activity a hand unlocks new neural circuits in your brain. You never know it could even unleash a hidden Picasso or a nimble Nigella within you.

    Adrenaline adventure. Before you are labelled too old (or your knees give away) catch the thrills of jumping, gliding, crawling! Go on all fours or riding an ATV. Find a junkie sport and give it a shot. Afterall you won’t be this young forever so why wait.

    Teach something formally. Ofcourse you got skills, you got knowledge and you are armed with information then why withhold it. Pass it on to others formally, it could be handwriting, making pickes, a long forgotten art of embroidery or just public speaking. There are takers for everything in today’s world. This experience of putting yourself out there and imparting your skill is both liberating and learning at the same time.

    Downtime with your child before they turn a tween/teen. Perfect time to catch them ripe as the child is neither a dependent kid neither a superbly detached self-proclaimed teen sensation. Re-discover a theme park, join a night sky watching group or just go camping in the woods. Go painting at the beach or just run a movie marathon night. Create memories to last them a lifetime!