Sawaal anek
jawaab sirf ek.
Nahi sirf aaj, kal, parso,
dekhi hain raah barso.
Ab jab hain itne dur
tab kya hi fitoor?!
Kuch toh kahein, ek lafz ya ek kafiya,
taras gaye hai ab, dher hui tanhaiya.
Tum kaho, main suno,
bas yahi ek sukoon.
Dastak, aahat, ishara hoga kaafi,
di hai humne arji, maang li hai maafi.
Yaadon ke sahare katenge din,
jiye hain aur yuhi jiyenge tere bin.
Same but new.
Known but unknown.
Familiar but evolved.
Excited but nervous.
Butterflies in stomach though treading a known territory. This and much more is what runs through the mind just before a reunion. Or call it a bitter sweet catchup, a chance meeting or a planned revisit.
To some place you lived through like the modest neighbourhood your parents brought you up in or the school you attended. Or some one you grew up with like an old flame or college sweetheart, a long lost cousin or a disconnected sibling. You fancied this moment, romanticized the visuals and played the narrative in your head a thousand times. Yet the reality is far from what the mind can imagine. When all your senses engage in the multidimensional reality, what you undergo feels surreal and transformative. Trying to fathom and make sense of it all is futile. Let it sink in, meanwhile soak up the present and reflect when your inner self shows courage and readiness.
It would be ideal to start afresh all over again; keeping the past away, beginning with a clean slate and rewriting the future unhinged. No comparision, no benchmarks and no expectations – best to avoid heartache. And being the humans we are, it’s all easier said than done.
Times change, people evolve into newer beings and places become unrecognizable. But one romanticizes the past. Nostalgic chords stir up the melancholy. Vivid visuals come to life.
Give it time and the dust settles down. A new dawn emerges as the now becomes more pronounced than the flashback. New realities emerge, newer neuron paths forge and the new replinshes the old. And just like that, walking an old path still feels odd but in unexpected, unassociated ways.
To accept is right but to expect is wrong?
To mourn is right but to desire is wrong?
To dream is right but to hope is wrong?
To love is right but to love again is wrong?
To loose is right but to gain is wrong?
To move on is right but to reconnect is wrong?
To fall apart is right but to bridge the gap is wrong?
To answer is right but to question is wrong?
To suffer silently is right but to change is wrong?
To detach is right but to rekindle is wrong?
To wait is right but to wait until eternity is definitely wrong!❤️
End of an era. Death of a relation. Cessation to thrive. Expiration of feelings. Termination of exchanges. Completion of dettachment. Conclusion in unsaid goodbye. Finale of fading memory. Grave of dreams. Gone too soon.
Thanking the universe for conspiring. Grateful for the moments. Blessed with the memories. Appreciative of the growth. Beholden for the words. Indebted to bring out the best. Obliged to share world. Glad our paths crossed.
Tears would not flow. Moments won’t be recollected. Words shall not be exchanged. Voices shall be a thing of the past. Harsh but only option. Dead end of sorts. Yearning, longing, everything can be shelved. Immerse in yourself, outwardly busy, inwardly lost.
A not so happy ending, once again. History repeats, roles reverse. ‘cos what is not meant to be never will be. Closing the paths to heart, the fancies of mind and the longing of soul with a finale. A tribute to finding peace not promises. A mission to let bygones be bygones. An operation to erase what was, hope not and let the memories fade out, once more.
Indeed keep me guessing
or maybe start confessing.
Wishing for more grace, more charm,
afterall no enemies here, there’s no harm!
May nothing hold you back.
It is my own sowing that I reap,
In these times of wails, cries or weeps.
Time heals wounds, but not entirely the scars,
So choose to hide behind the high veiled bars.
May nothing hold you back.
Its easy to romanticize what’s no more,
Not easy to face it chin up, easier to stay sore.
Queasy to make room for new ways of being,
To be held dearly, yet not be heard or be seen.
May nothing hold you back.
Don’t payback, it ain’t a game of karma,
Not wishing for spats showdowns or any drama.
Make room for forgiveness, kindness & above and over,
to choose meaningful actions over mere will power.
May nothing hold you back.
जहां मौका मिले,
वहां चाहत भी हो ही जाती है ।
Like a season, a festival, a local bloom,
Poof, gone away was the trace of gloom.
Newfound love, budding friendship, just married
from one moon to another the talks got carried.
Sun or rain, day or night,
couldn’t dare to loose sight.
Waiting with bated breath for the beeping,
Tossing and turning, happy yet weeping.
& when the clock struck twelve,
reminding the time is over to delve.
Time to hang the tiara, the golden slippers, the gown,
The magic is wearing, it’s about to wear down.
Time flies by, days, months by week,
Not that one is broken, quiet or meek.
But trying to do it all, until one breaks
Giving it all, and all it takes.
Like the weary desert traveller longs for a drop of water. Like the grass on the other side always seems greener, fulfilling and enduring. The same way those diamonds shining ahead, luring you of miraculous happiness may just be nothing but broken shards of glass which may cause bruises and immense pain instead.
हमने अक्सर अपनी राहों में रुक कर, तुम्हारा इंतजार किया।
To not give into the allure, to use wisdom in the eye of quick pleasure. To not trace back your steps and repeat the same errors. To pull back to the reality of life, to find solace in not rocking the boat. Comes but not naturally. It is strenous, arduous and a knotty path. Drowning in the past and the future is easy. Stay afloat in the present.
I owe you. Unfailingly. Copious quantities of apologies. Prayers unlimited. A lifetime of asking forgiveness. A confession every living breath.
I owe you. Unfailingly. Reasoning fails. Actions don’t make sense. Numbers don’t add up. Words don’t resonate. Scripts sound vague. Behaviours seem irrational. Logic seems hollow.
I owe you. Unfailingly. A soliloquy replays. A monologue re-enacted. A social credit unreturned. A willingness to return the kindness, the gratitude and to give back infinitely.
I owe you. Unfailingly. Time. Distance. Solitude. Peace. Quiet. Calm. Fulfillment. Health. Love. Togetherness. Bliss. Amen.
Loose some win some, so where do you think lies the fun?
Alone in the midst of sea of folks, or
cherishing what we had or now long for?
Apart yet held closer than anyone ever,
or dreaming against hope as forever?
In gaining a friend but letting go of the love,
in burying the hatchet and setting loose the dove.
Neither here nor there, when
past, present, future rolled up into a cosy den.
Of united hopes, dreams, desires,
plentiful as those promises now on a pyre.
Brave, strong, mature all rolled into one,
yet holding sand in one’s fist until shines the sun.
Reigniting moments buried six feet under,
was it or wasn’t it one big blunder.
Reunited with oneself, the ultimate face off
Chose your armour to fight, cry, laugh, or scoff
Words fall short when trying to stitch it together,
perhaps rocking the boat was a mistake, however
wouldnt wish for it to be another way,
someday, somewhere, one day.
