Nidhis.daily.blog

Category: womanhood

  • 40 before 40 – Part II

    The fuck it forties – a unique yet apt title by a friend who is almost finished sailing through her fourth decade around the sun. Maybe, maybe not, but anyways may your aging be as exciting as this time bucket list! So I am continuing to jot down the accomplishments that every woman should aim to get under her belt before turning 40.

    Do your bit for the nature. Afterall we got only one planet earth as there is no plan B. So start small by saving electricity, sorting your garbage, switching to sustainable products and practices. Then take some formal steps with like minded folks, the local community and be a sustainability champion whom people follow even IRL.

    Build basic knowledge of your spiritual scriptures. Maybe you are god-fearing, maybe you are not. In either ways, a good thorough read of your religious scriptures might leave you with a deep understanding of philosophy, way of life and a know-how of how to navigate daily life. So whatever be your spiritual awareness level today, consuming bite sized information would only add dimension to your aging!

    Do nothing day. Yes you heard it right, mark it on your calendars and swear by it. Think of it as a day of ‘paid time off’ from your role and titles. If you are a home-maker, do no chores on this day. If you are employed or self-employed, take a day off spend time on a hobby deeply. If you are a new mom, just ditch childcare and pamper yourself by stepping out in your finest outfits!

    Friend date. Because finding a date is hard work but friends are always here for you! So step out with your girlfriend and have a gala time.

    Bike. Or if you are a biker girl, gear up and push the pedal (or the gear). After all who doesn’t like the thrill of breeze in your hair, some sweat on the forehead and a freewheeling ride down the neighbourhood.

    Grow a plant. There is no greater wonder in the world than watching a living being grow. So sow some seeds or invest in a sapling from the friendly nursery and start nurturing the plant. Build it into your daily routine and be proud of keeping it alive & thriving as a responsible adult.

    Hike. Being in nature is a natural endorphin booster. A cheap and free dose of feel good with some cardio and fresh air to top it with.

    DIY. Build something with your own hands, from scratch. It could be as simple as an origami craft, a new recipe or a lovely crochet that you have saved on your pinterest board since long.

    Handywoman. Spend a day with the toolbox and go all around the house fixing all the loose screws & hanging nuts and bolts. As they say a stitch in time saves nine, derive some sense of accomplishment by being the lady version of a ‘handyman’.

    Face yoga. Aging but wanting to age with grace. Then find some good source of face yoga, the basic ones which use muscle pull without using fancy equipments or more investments than what you already have. & thank me later for saving you a million in face lifts and tucks which your dermatologist would have earned instead.

  • 40 before 40 – Part I

    The furious fourties – a decade where you are neither young nor old. More like a sandwich situation. The recount of my sisterhood who have hit this milestone of aging range from liberating to imprisoning. Seems the fourth decade around the sun is infact a double-edged sword. Forewarned is forearmed, so here is a time bucket list of accomplishments that every woman should aim to get under her belt before turning 40!

    Solo travel. From something as exotic as a mountain sojourn to something as reasonable as a stay-cation in the home city – being on your own hits differently. You are unattached from the various roles you play, rediscovering yourself as an individual. The quiet, the solitude, the unknown, the discoveries – you can own them all. Bonus – it does wonder for your self confidence.

    Meditate. While levitating seems out of the world but meditating can help channelise your blocked energies and find a vent out. A peaceful one where you can let go of your thoughts and train your mind for strength. So start practising a few minutes of quiet everyday, allow mindfulness to engulf you.

    Day out with the maiden family. Plan some block of time with your parents and siblings, just like old times. Bond over memories forgotten, rummage through childhood treasures or just spend time at leisure with each other cosying up over nostalgic food and wine. Bonus it’s a huge dopamine dose without burning hole in the pocket.

    Give back to society. Start finding means to volunteer your time and efforts. Chose a cause close to your heart – beach clean up, teaching underprivileged kids or caring for silver citizens. Deploy your skills at a not-for-profit organization and make the world around you a better place. One day at a time.

    Join a sports group. Pick up your favourite sport – indoor or outdoor and start bonding with like minded folks over it. Give yourself another social channel to mingle at and since it’s a game the cognitive and physiological benefits are yours to reap anyways.

    Find your poison

    Girls only itinerary. Invest in thrills and frills with your girl gang. Spend time with your sisterhood exploring diverse interests from wine-tasting to knitting to glamping. Splurge, spend or save – choice is yours. Idea is to cosy up with your favourite women and leave your worries behind.

    Try a new hobby. You think you can’t paint – then pick up a brush and learn. You think reading is too boring then join a bookclub. Or you find baking cumbersome, look for a baking guru whose sessions can inspire your inner pattiserrie. Giving a diverse, completely untried activity a hand unlocks new neural circuits in your brain. You never know it could even unleash a hidden Picasso or a nimble Nigella within you.

    Adrenaline adventure. Before you are labelled too old (or your knees give away) catch the thrills of jumping, gliding, crawling! Go on all fours or riding an ATV. Find a junkie sport and give it a shot. Afterall you won’t be this young forever so why wait.

    Teach something formally. Ofcourse you got skills, you got knowledge and you are armed with information then why withhold it. Pass it on to others formally, it could be handwriting, making pickes, a long forgotten art of embroidery or just public speaking. There are takers for everything in today’s world. This experience of putting yourself out there and imparting your skill is both liberating and learning at the same time.

    Downtime with your child before they turn a tween/teen. Perfect time to catch them ripe as the child is neither a dependent kid neither a superbly detached self-proclaimed teen sensation. Re-discover a theme park, join a night sky watching group or just go camping in the woods. Go painting at the beach or just run a movie marathon night. Create memories to last them a lifetime!

  • Alice in Shirt-land

    When I close my eyes
    I’m colourblind
    You make me colourblind

    & so goes the lyrics from my all time favourite love song by Darius. Funnily enough only the last line resonates in my cerebral cortex everytime my husband says “It is a nice blue shirt isn’t it?”

    Picture this : we are at a premium men’s workwear retail showroom and since I can’t (or shouldn’t) be disrespectful, I play the polite card “Sure Honey, as long as you like it”. Inside my head, I am counting the numerous blue shirts he already has and I swear this one looks no different from the rest of the lot. They all look identical, hanging in the wardrobe handsomely as if mocking me for not being able to tell one shade from the other. And it’s not just blue that I am challenged with, the same story repeats when it comes to the multiple white/grey/yellow/navy/mauve/mint/peach shirts he owns. Ofcourse, some credit should come my way for introducing ‘colour’ to his muted shirt selection as the last 3 shades have been introduced to him via yours truly.

    While I am reeling through this question, sipping on my tea and my eyes wandering to the Xmas-party dresses calling out to me from the next shop, here comes another innocent enquiry “Wouldn’t this trouser go well in my wardrobe?”. Aha my mind goes, perfect company to the existing platoon of patloons (hindi word for trousers) in black, blue, grey. “For sure, looks quite sharp”, is all that comes out of my mouth. No sharp shooting here, though the trouser sure is sharp, crisp and well tailored; not that once its home anyone can tell the difference between it and the older ones. Bloody they all look the same to me, not exaggerating.

    “Can I too buy a shirt and trouser for the NYE party, just like dad?” says my pre-teen son and I silently pray to god, “agle janam mujhe bitiya hi kijo!”

  • Second Chance

    We often associate kindness as a good deed for others. Being kind is a founding principle taught by most religions. Afterall kindness is basic to humanity and its existence.

    Often kindness can manifest as caring for others, sometimes even at the cost of putting one’s own needs first. But what good would come from all the selflessness if one ain’t being kind to oneself in the first place. Afterall only a full cup can fill others. So why have shame in putting boundaries and claiming me time for the only body, mind and soul who is your lifelong companion – thyself!

    Sipping as the world goes by

    Reclaim your moments, guard them selfishly and indulge in something just for yourself. It won’t make you less of a spouse, partner, parent, child, sibling or whatever roles keep you tied to the routine. Make room for yourself and stay consistent at it. Therefore just like charity, ladies & gentlemen, kindness should also begin at home.

  • Slaying on ur own terms

    Conventional definitions of success? Orthodox measures of a good life? Relearn. Reset. Rewire.

    Not everything we have learnt is relevant in this ever changing world. As institutions evolve and idealogies advance; people rise up the societal pyramid, discovering newer definitions of making a living. Embrace change or perish holds true so those who adapt truly find bliss and peace – beyond conventional happiness.

    Be the lead. Not the best friend. Make no room for self pity. Make way for thinking out of the box, being unbound by conventional wisdom and abide by your own standards of freedom.

  • Filling your own cup first

    It’s never too much when you prioritize yourself and your hobbies before others.

    Ask yourself what roles you play and surely you’ll name everything but not thyself. We are tuned to seeing life from a Point of View of others and not oneself. While in reality the locus lies within. Hence I comes before anyone else, before any other relations.

    A well oiled and cared for machine serves better and lasts longer than one which has been tirelessly put to use but unserviced. Thus when we care for things, they care for us. The same holds for our body, mind and soul. We can be a better functioning human when our we fill our cups first and foremost.

  • Girls will be girls

    Alive, kicking and thriving – it’s a fabulous time to be a female. Women have finally learnt to celebrate themselves – whatever be the age or social strata.

    Grannies in their sixties have just learnt to ‘gram and post reels swinging with other gal pals. Posing like golden babes – they have all the confidence as they have seen the world.

    The ladies in their fifties have an empty nest at hand. They now have the time to explore hobbies and interests that were kept on the back burner. Painting, salsa class, yoga – they want to try it all.

    The forty somethings want to multi-task besides chasing career goals, familial duties, childcare & aged care. Self-care in all forms is welcome. So you may spot them clubbling, pub hopping and enjoying the company of their girlfriends.

    Those in their thirties are raging to experience everything life has to offer. Simultaneously trying to break out of the young adult they grew up as while establishing an identity of their own. Solo travel across the world, adventure sports, all hues of hair from purple to red – they don’t shy from any of it.

    So welcome to the world of females where every generation considers themselves to be ‘girls’. Afterall, girls do like to swing!