Nidhis.daily.blog

Tag: couple goals

  • Post marital depression – new label to an age old phenomena

    Move aside Post partum depression (which is prevalent only in new mothers), post martial depression is for real too. As the honeymoon period (first few years post wedding) draws to an end, the cuteness of ‘opposites attract’ gets replaced by ‘petty squabbles’. Merging individual lifestyles, cultures and langages is bound to create frictions of low intensity.

    Plus a big alteration is to your life balance which was neatly organized around work on weekdays and chores over weekend (& sometimes never cos your mom/sister/grandma did it for you). Now each day is hybrid & requires attention to many more things about managing a household.

    The fun of getting to know a complete new set of parents, cousins, aunts, uncles is vanishing. Now it’s more of sustaining these adopted relationships. Moreover becoming a parent adds to the chaos; demanding  superlative physical and mental strength.

    So to mitigate this seven year itch, start strengthening your communication and practice active listening with the spouse. Trying to spend time together minus the variables (read kids and parents) helps reconnect. Add humour to your ‘us time’ so that you both can laugh off some of the dust that has dimmed the bonds of love. After all, you ‘2’ come before we ‘3/4/5’, whatever the number be!

  • If opposites attract then why do diverse clash?

    They say opposites attract. & that’s the start of every love story. So when the love story turns into a marriage story, why does the diversity in us begin to clash? Isn’t love enough to tide over the differences between us? Yes and No. Yes because it helps us remember how it all began, why we choose our companion in the first place and what made us commit to them forever. And no because it alone isn’t enough; as the clouds of differences loom large, warmth of love takes a backseat and each contrary view becomes an adversity.

    As these he-she situations play out, no one person is right or wrong completely. It works out best if each chooses to lose some battles and hold their fort in the rest. After all the key to harmony is in balance – balance of thoughts, views, ideologies. Being open to new diverse opinions makes us widen our individual perspective and enhance our decision making.

    So the next time your spouse has a glaringly different PoV, just take a moment to pause and reflect. Stark opposites attract and the maturity to encompass these opposites is what enriches our lives as individuals and as a harmonious couple.