Nidhis.daily.blog

Tag: spouse

  • To leave is easy

    But to stay is tough. To endure is courageous. To remain committed is brave.

    Because there is no newness, there is little room for surprise and there isn’t an element of thrill that might be unexplored. Unlike the early days where everything is rosy, real life is a riot of all hues. Some vivid, others sombre and a few downright nasty.

    Best to keep your rosy glasses on for optimal experience – as they say happiness is me!

  • Love of your life

    That should be you. Yes, essentially you should be the main character of your life’s story. But every story needs a good partner too, right.

    To do or not to do

    So how do you find them : the perfect partner. Research, checklist, trial & error or just fate? Or a combination of a few of these. Let’s first settle what’s perfect for me and you won’t be the same – that’s called ideal. And ideal is rare, mirage, cliche. So let’s settle for defining your perfect : someone who you like spending time with, sets your heart racing, has been a good influence and gets you better than most others. That’s a keeper, keep if you can and you have found gold!

    & Once you think no one’s fitting this bill, go for the next best rationale option: someone who can be a good career coach, a motivator for your goals and a complement to your personality traits.

    Pros and cons lie in both the ways. Head over heart, choice or chance. It’s all in the stars, so leave it to destiny to find them for you. Just choose and stick it out.

  • Can we love twice?

    ‘We only live once, we only love once’ went the famous dialogue from a romantic love story. Read along to prove its untrue and yes you can learn to love multiple times over.

    How do u define what love is to your kid? Is it an overwhelming sense of affection, or is it a strong sense of attachment or is it a sense of deep concern? There is no one feeling which can describe it accurately. And no one way of expressing one’s love.

    When you feel a strong sense of affection towards your baby, it is nothing but the feeling of love. You show it by your actions of taking utmost care of it, doing all you can to keep it safe and away from any harms.

    Or is love the deep sense of concern you shower on your lover? Wherein you can or cannot care by your actions but go all lengths to express your concern for their well being. Where all you can do is communicate in formal ways and let them drive their own well being.

    Or is love the charged level of enthusiasm which makes you spend hours watching football? Or the deep belief in climate change or Downs syndrome which drives you to go lengths to give your time to support the cause.

    Or is love the passion you express for your spouse or partner? The sense of unbroken commitment, lifelong fidelity and infinite companionship which makes you commit to them.

    So to me all forms of love are true, pure and sincere. And yes you can harbour each of them in your mighty little heart for your loved ones – all at the same time.

  • How to make your marriage work

    Matches may be made in heaven but marriages are made on earth and need nurturing like any other earthling. So whether you choose your spouse or your parents did, whether you dated your spouse for long time or few months, it is rare that 2 people are doing the ‘waltz’ absolutely in sync all the time. There would be mis-steps here and a beat lost there, but as long as you can correct your form – the show can go on!

    Here is my mantra of keeping at it, coming from a pool of decades of marriage experience and multiple conversations with married couples.

    Team work – It’s a team play with your spouse, so there can be only 1 leader at a time. So lead here, follow there. ‘cos 200% is also a problem so don’t expect a 100% from them every single time.  There would always be a leader and a follower in each situation, keep true to your strengths and let the other person lead too.

    Preserving individuality – Keeping to your me time and staying true to it. Yes we could spend every living moment with our spouse, but trust me that would leave you with no room (literally). So keep to your hobbies, a happier you would result in a happier ‘us’.

    Acknowledging the differences – not turning your spouse into your clone, after all you married then for being themselves. Easier said than done but please embrace the diversity they bring – whether in food or parenting.

    Talk talk talk, just talk it out. Don’t sleep over the arguments, cold war doesn’t help anyone ever. So whatever be the situation, make sure to communicate with your spouse and not just shut down.

    So keep coming back to these basics to keep life stress free. After all no marriage is perfect by design, you have to make it memorable by choice.