Nidhis.daily.blog

Tag: wedding

  • Arranged Love Marriage

    So traditionally, in many societies marriages are ‘arranged’ for the offsprings. Examples with reasoning for Kings, noblemen, commoners.

    & then there is the modern millennial era where marriage is for formalising your ‘love’. You meet your dream partner, whether in your 20s, 30s, 40s or even 50s and since your chemistry is a 200% and dopamine is rushing through your body from head to toe so you marry them.

    Same same but different

    Yet there is room for the new age marriages, those that are done for either reason and still holding fort (though not love nither significance) for being a social contract which has mutual benefits. One spouse (or maybe both) have realized that their better half isn’t the person of their dreams, and may never be yet they carry on. Coping could mean insulating by means of apathy, indifference or even plain ignoring the thorns. For the outside world (social media or otherwise) they are perfect, all conventional life goals accomplished or on track to accomplish. Yet on the inside there is no connect, no love, no tenderness left. I term this the arranged love marriage. Cos love is lost but you are arranging to carry on 😉

  • How to make your marriage work

    Matches may be made in heaven but marriages are made on earth and need nurturing like any other earthling. So whether you choose your spouse or your parents did, whether you dated your spouse for long time or few months, it is rare that 2 people are doing the ‘waltz’ absolutely in sync all the time. There would be mis-steps here and a beat lost there, but as long as you can correct your form – the show can go on!

    Here is my mantra of keeping at it, coming from a pool of decades of marriage experience and multiple conversations with married couples.

    Team work – It’s a team play with your spouse, so there can be only 1 leader at a time. So lead here, follow there. ‘cos 200% is also a problem so don’t expect a 100% from them every single time.  There would always be a leader and a follower in each situation, keep true to your strengths and let the other person lead too.

    Preserving individuality – Keeping to your me time and staying true to it. Yes we could spend every living moment with our spouse, but trust me that would leave you with no room (literally). So keep to your hobbies, a happier you would result in a happier ‘us’.

    Acknowledging the differences – not turning your spouse into your clone, after all you married then for being themselves. Easier said than done but please embrace the diversity they bring – whether in food or parenting.

    Talk talk talk, just talk it out. Don’t sleep over the arguments, cold war doesn’t help anyone ever. So whatever be the situation, make sure to communicate with your spouse and not just shut down.

    So keep coming back to these basics to keep life stress free. After all no marriage is perfect by design, you have to make it memorable by choice.