Nidhis.daily.blog

Author: nidhikaintura23

  • One life, many lives

    Do you only live once? Or is it that you live multitude lives in a lifetime. Afterall, every few years or decades one is living a life completely different from the previous in more than one ways. Nothing is the same. The physical body undergoes changes, intelligence grows, mind expands and the soul transforms. Every new phase of being brings a new role, a new title and a new personality to the forefront. Seems the term YOLO is just to keep encouraging to live better and not delay gratification. Not just in this one life but the many lives we live.

    As a kid, maximize play. As a teen, maximize exposure. As a young adult maximize learning. As a new-spouse, maximize togetherness. As a parent, maximize growth. As an older adult, maximize friendship. In your silver years, maximize giving. It could be this and much more for each of this time bucket. In fact some could be constant goals manifested differently for different time of life. In short, fretting about one life and too much to do is a stress-inducing point of view. Think of your journey of life as many lives rolled into one, where you have constant chances of being a better version, at every age and stage of the sojourn!

  • Alice in Shirt-land

    When I close my eyes
    I’m colourblind
    You make me colourblind

    & so goes the lyrics from my all time favourite love song by Darius. Funnily enough only the last line resonates in my cerebral cortex everytime my husband says “It is a nice blue shirt isn’t it?”

    Picture this : we are at a premium men’s workwear retail showroom and since I can’t (or shouldn’t) be disrespectful, I play the polite card “Sure Honey, as long as you like it”. Inside my head, I am counting the numerous blue shirts he already has and I swear this one looks no different from the rest of the lot. They all look identical, hanging in the wardrobe handsomely as if mocking me for not being able to tell one shade from the other. And it’s not just blue that I am challenged with, the same story repeats when it comes to the multiple white/grey/yellow/navy/mauve/mint/peach shirts he owns. Ofcourse, some credit should come my way for introducing ‘colour’ to his muted shirt selection as the last 3 shades have been introduced to him via yours truly.

    While I am reeling through this question, sipping on my tea and my eyes wandering to the Xmas-party dresses calling out to me from the next shop, here comes another innocent enquiry “Wouldn’t this trouser go well in my wardrobe?”. Aha my mind goes, perfect company to the existing platoon of patloons (hindi word for trousers) in black, blue, grey. “For sure, looks quite sharp”, is all that comes out of my mouth. No sharp shooting here, though the trouser sure is sharp, crisp and well tailored; not that once its home anyone can tell the difference between it and the older ones. Bloody they all look the same to me, not exaggerating.

    “Can I too buy a shirt and trouser for the NYE party, just like dad?” says my pre-teen son and I silently pray to god, “agle janam mujhe bitiya hi kijo!”

  • Left or Right?

    The sojourn of life isn’t linear, to choose a path; trivial or historic, happens more frequently than not. And then there are times when we come face to face with our deepest fears, darkest desires and despair thoughts. Our brain gets ticking to quickly choose one of the binary options – right or left, flight or fight, leave or stay. Afterall that’s the most efficient way to solve and move along. But it’s simpler said than done, most yogis train their minds and consciousness for years before they can rein in their thoughts and control their subconscious.

    So we lesser beings might as well try other more tactical ways to rein in ourselves. Journaling, mindfulness, hobby classes – they all bring out the sensorial connect and help build focus on mind-body connect. It’s not a ‘bury your thoughts’ approach but rather an attempt to increase the longevity & clarity of your train of thoughts. Serving as a reminder of what’s rationale in the here & now and why you choose a certain path.

    Focus to Flourish

    So in grey lies grief yet in gray lies glassiness. Afterall life is much more messier than our ideologies allow.

  • Embracing Vulnerability

    Sounds like an oxymoron right. But then doesn’t growth does start from the lowest inflection point on the curve. Learning to give a positive spin to your gullible side is like making lemonade out of the sour lemons handed to you.

    Relive the pain
    Wounds that heal

    We were all taught to toughen up and put up a brave face, no matter what. In doing so, we don an armour of self-defence until it becomes second nature. This takes away from being able to face one’s weaknesses. Yet being on a journey of acknowledging your vulnerabilities is very fulfilling. Yes it is rare, yes it is extremely painful and facing one’s deepest emotions isn’t for the faint hearted. Just like an onion, opening up one’s wounds layer by layer and reliving the emotional roller-coaster is scary as hell. Afterall being in the company of one’s emotions, bare and raw, is scathing to say the least.

    The journey comes with its own set of rewards too. A deeper understaning of oneself paves way for an enhanced coping mechanism. Not just that, with a better regulated nervous system you start being more aware of your feelings which helps maintain calm in chaos.

  • What matters next?

    It’s the hi-tech millenia of artificial intelligence, robots and intelligent automation. Humanity is making strides in all branchs of science. Yet in our minds success is mere material, monetary and magnanimus achievements. A bigger apartment, a flashier car, the latest gadgets, another wrist watch. And the wishlist continues, like an bottomless pit.

    Kindness costs nothing

    In a world that prizes constant consumption, how about chasing kindness, empathy and companionship as goals. A world where good behaviour is embraced and warmth is the love language. How about being on a journey where everyone is valued for their existence and the uniqueness they bring to the table.

    So when did you last hear a kid being praised for being kind. In the recent past, do you recall patting your partner for being an empathetic being. Infact when did you pause to count a reconnection with a long lost friend as a personal win. Normalising humanity isn’t rocket science but this surely needs a collective recollect and reset in our over-stimulated cortex!

  • The last dance

    The night was young, so were the two of them. As young adults who had just started earning and tasted the success of freedom, they were both convinced this was the best thing to do. Freedom from parental curfews, freedom from education goals and lastly freedom from each other – from the unsaid commitments made half a decade ago.

    So they were dessed to the nines for a night of celebration. Closest of friends were invited, a great weekend was planned ahead. They hopped onto the bike and reached the local watering hole for the party to begin. The club was a popular one, dark yet mystic with loud thumping music blaring the mix of all songs from the disco 80’s to the fast paced one’s of the early 2000’s.

    They weren’t alone, apart from their close group of friends, they were crowds and crowds of youth grinding to the same beats. All fledgling techies, chilling and drowning themselves with the drinks, drumbeats and dance moves. But these two had eyes for each other only. Though they were hosting a ‘breakup party’, it was clear that there was much life left to live together. She swayed while he sipped. Together from dusk to dawn, they drowned the pain of parting ways with drives, dance and drinks.

  • Second Chance

    We often associate kindness as a good deed for others. Being kind is a founding principle taught by most religions. Afterall kindness is basic to humanity and its existence.

    Often kindness can manifest as caring for others, sometimes even at the cost of putting one’s own needs first. But what good would come from all the selflessness if one ain’t being kind to oneself in the first place. Afterall only a full cup can fill others. So why have shame in putting boundaries and claiming me time for the only body, mind and soul who is your lifelong companion – thyself!

    Sipping as the world goes by

    Reclaim your moments, guard them selfishly and indulge in something just for yourself. It won’t make you less of a spouse, partner, parent, child, sibling or whatever roles keep you tied to the routine. Make room for yourself and stay consistent at it. Therefore just like charity, ladies & gentlemen, kindness should also begin at home.

  • At a place that never is!

    Food is for survival.

    Food is a love language.

    And food is sometimes a memory.

    Think of how you recall the food prepared by your grandmother, or your mother’s beloved recipe or the way you associate certain dish to special occasions. Occasions that were marked important in your mind; making memories that you now cherish for life.

    The sight, smell, taste – that ones does not forget. It remains etched in your subconscious. Every mention, every recall, even citing of the same takes you down the memory lanes. The time, the place, the people and the era when you last savored it. The love of the one who prepared the meal, the warmth of their love and the genuineness of the gesture – just exemplifies how belonging is fostered with food served with kindness.

    Roasted cumin buttermilk, daal-baati-churma (an Indian preparation of pulses curry and baked dough balls) and home made coffee with froth on the top (much before Covid led Dalgona coffee made it all famous again) – all evoke the same historic journey for me. Those decades when a younger me painted the future vividly and dreamt with a heart full of pure love. When everyone around me was kind with pure intentions in their hearts. Blissfully unaware of the big bad world, soaking in the warmth and kindness, reciprocating the care and spreading unadulterated joy all along – I shall continue to cherish the memories the food evokes, lighting up my face with a smile every single time.

  • The first dance

    The music was loud. The atmosphere electrifying. Afterall, college fests are meant to be a break from books, assignments and lectures.

    Every floor had huge banners, outlining the activity being hosted. There was a milieu of young adults on each floor. The seniors swinging with confidence from one activity to another. While the juniors tried to settle on which way their gang of friends wanted to go. And then there were the freshers. Bright eyed, straight out of school, unsure of themselves yet trying to find a footing.

    That’s exactly how they both looked. Unsure, eager, ready to try something new. ‘Groove to the salsa’ read this banner in the basement. Fate took them both there. And then they chose to sign up for the one hour class to learn a new dance form, just for fun.

    Little did he know that the hands he would hold for the next 60 minutes would be the ones he would like to hold on the journey of life. She swayed while he had two left feet. The song rung a bell too, swanky with fast beats and lyrics which meant to have everything in life in light vein.

    Yet between the laughs, the mis-steps, eyes locked with each other, she fell for him. Swinging with the rhythm, he in a chequered shirt and she in a striped dress, they danced their way into each other’s hearts.

  • Memories

    Love them or loathe them,

    Seems you can not forget them.

    I wish to hold on, cherish & celebrate,

    Not to look down, label or berate.

    Good, bad, ugly, they are what they are,

    Can’t fathom all of them from where I am, near yet so far.

    Holding onto each piece dearly as I can,

    Fearing, some day I may loose them all.

    Since I can’t turn back time or travel into the future,

    I desire all of it to immortalize, be alive, be nurtured.

    You say let’s not rock the boat,

    I say but let’s also not build a moat.

    Wish one day we can meet in the middle,

    Until then, let’s not try to solve this beautiful riddle.