Nidhis.daily.blog

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  • In search of greener pastures

    Miss your home, your land? I do. I often dream of being able to pack up and move, take my home and set up my nest back in the hills of Himalayas.

    I didn’t grow up there but still have a strong umbilical tie to my native. A place one grows up in or has ancestral ties to – anything can be that home, that land, the one with which we relate, we feel belonged, we long to keep going back to.

    As often we don’t miss something until we don’t have it anymore. This longing is when you are removed or away for reasons – one or many. Some move for making a living, others for better growth opportunities. Some move for peace and prosperity, others for the glamour of the unknown.

    Wherever you go, take a piece of your roots alongside – the food, the music, the language, the rituals, the outfits – after all these elements make up your culture. Merging the old with the new, preserving what’s relevant and adopting to what’s more suited. This way the grass would continue to look green if you keep watering it, my friend.

  • The gift of Present

    The past lures, remorse of what could have been and how,

    The future captivates, with dreams unfulfilled as of now.

    Dwelling in the past or imagining the future – easy, fulfilling yet an unfruitful way to make time kill.

    Shake yourself up & level up in the present; it’s here, it’s now, it’s real and it’s yours to go ahead and build.

  • Chemistry or Compatibility : Why did you marry your spouse?

    You fell head over heels for someone, cupid struck you with love at first sight? Or did you follow a dating algorithm and sieve through a list of potential suitors?

    If the former, it is likely that underlying chemistry played a bigger role in turning the courtship into lifelong commitment. After all, love is a game played by the hearts and not the minds ☺️

    If the later, it is likely that underlying compatibility played a larger part in formalizing the courtship. You may have consciously (or on a subconscious) level analysed how they fit into your life goals – personal and professional.

    Either way, your work towards your marriage is cut out ‘cos both these ingredients are rightfully required for a successful partnership. If your chemistry is awesome, work on being more compatible and the other way around holds true too. After all, we may fall in love with our soul but to stay in love needs both mind as well as soul.

  • Pains of aging

    Sometime we can unknowingly invite troubles by asking for help. Especially help from aging parents, who are at times erratic and not consistent in their responses. Logic and rationale seems to surpass them many a times, making us wonder if they are the same adults who brought us up.

    They grow selfish, trying to guard themselves even while helping their own children. In the middle of all this, they unknowingly throw you – the (grown up) child, under the bus. I am sure no parent, however old, would do it on purpose. But its most likely an outcome of a battle in their mind. On one hand they think ‘I have done enough for my child’ and on other hand they tell themselves ‘I should now look for myself’.

    Not much to do here for the (grown up) child. Except for taking the path of self reliance, keeping expectations superbly low and undercutting on your asks from them. It’s physics after all, less strain equals better longevity!

  • The new normal

    They say time and tide wait for none, and so shouldn’t I,

    But then it’s been ages, been a while,

    That I felt elated, felt life on a note this high,

    Feeling the emotional tank overflow, sigh!

    Content, comfortable and smiling in my world,

    In the new relations and rituals I was curled.

    Blissfully unaware of what I had lost on the way,

    Or maybe aware but keeping it all tucked away.

    Don’t go that path; cautioned my mind,

    Keeping turning away, an eye blind.

    This new you has all the strength,

    Go embrace it and tread the length.

    Said my heart and good Lord I did hear it,

    Not going to be easy so take it a bit by bit.

    Easy it wasn’t, flowers and thorns alike,

    I like the journey, as much as I now dislike.

    Clear judgement of what’s right and wrong,

    We are in the rightful places where we belong.

    So lighten up, smile and keep it sort of formal,

    After all this is going to be the new normal!

  • Yellow 💛

    In sickness we all cherish health,

    But then were we not busy chasing wealth!

    In loneliness we look for companionship,

    Longing for relations we couldn’t help but nip.

    In darkness all we need are ray of hopes,

    To stop behaving like a bunch of mopes.

    So to sadness, illness and despair we say,

    Not today my friend, not today ❤️

  • Home away from home

    They say home is where the heart is. & we all love our nests, our homes, our place of belonging. While some of us are builders, some are nesters and the rest are nomads happily moving yet not belonging to any one nest.

    Be whatever, there comes a time when we start missing our nest – either the one we built or one we grew up in. The one we grew up in holds a special place in our heart. Emotional attachment keeps us going back to it or atleast longing to go back to it. A trip down memory lane for nostalgia sake feeds our soul wishing we could be here forever.

    And on the other hand, the one we build is dear as it’s truly ours. Every day life keeps us busy, yet pulling us to create the best for our future generations. Filling our creative soul with purpose and motivation as the joy of creation is next to none.

    The lucky ones don’t have to choose as they get to nurture their childhood place. But then these are rare. Most of us shuttle between the two worlds. & some souls have only one of the two nests. Whatever be your situation, play it out with hope in heart and smile on face ❤️

  • Post marital depression – new label to an age old phenomena

    Move aside Post partum depression (which is prevalent only in new mothers), post martial depression is for real too. As the honeymoon period (first few years post wedding) draws to an end, the cuteness of ‘opposites attract’ gets replaced by ‘petty squabbles’. Merging individual lifestyles, cultures and langages is bound to create frictions of low intensity.

    Plus a big alteration is to your life balance which was neatly organized around work on weekdays and chores over weekend (& sometimes never cos your mom/sister/grandma did it for you). Now each day is hybrid & requires attention to many more things about managing a household.

    The fun of getting to know a complete new set of parents, cousins, aunts, uncles is vanishing. Now it’s more of sustaining these adopted relationships. Moreover becoming a parent adds to the chaos; demanding  superlative physical and mental strength.

    So to mitigate this seven year itch, start strengthening your communication and practice active listening with the spouse. Trying to spend time together minus the variables (read kids and parents) helps reconnect. Add humour to your ‘us time’ so that you both can laugh off some of the dust that has dimmed the bonds of love. After all, you ‘2’ come before we ‘3/4/5’, whatever the number be!

  • I’ll be there for you ☺️

    There are friends who laugh with you, build good times and lasting memories. & then there are friends who sense the urgency and seriousness in your tone even on a text.

    Whatever the day, time or situation at their own end, they stick it out for you. Being the listener to your woes, the agony aunt to your crying and the empathetic ear to all your rantings. But then they also snap you out of your self propagated miseries, throw a line to pull you out of your self victimization and offer contrary views to probe your mind to think differently.

    That’s your best buddy, your 3 am friend, your safe space. Cheers to them & cheers to you for having them!

  • If opposites attract then why do diverse clash?

    They say opposites attract. & that’s the start of every love story. So when the love story turns into a marriage story, why does the diversity in us begin to clash? Isn’t love enough to tide over the differences between us? Yes and No. Yes because it helps us remember how it all began, why we choose our companion in the first place and what made us commit to them forever. And no because it alone isn’t enough; as the clouds of differences loom large, warmth of love takes a backseat and each contrary view becomes an adversity.

    As these he-she situations play out, no one person is right or wrong completely. It works out best if each chooses to lose some battles and hold their fort in the rest. After all the key to harmony is in balance – balance of thoughts, views, ideologies. Being open to new diverse opinions makes us widen our individual perspective and enhance our decision making.

    So the next time your spouse has a glaringly different PoV, just take a moment to pause and reflect. Stark opposites attract and the maturity to encompass these opposites is what enriches our lives as individuals and as a harmonious couple.