Life is a series of interactions strung together with situations. Staying attached with our true inner self becomes difficult in this journey. Rather one tends to get attached to others, makes oneself appear weaker and needy.
Practising dettachment requires higher self control. It’s about striking the balance between our duties and restraining from overtly investing into them. Being neutral helps one focus on one’s ‘chi’ and reduce the suffering which comes with life 🙏
I bet never have you come across any piece of art titled that! Save that brilliant movie which captures the pains of a separation.
But no series, movie, book captures the essence of what happens happily ever after. Where the ‘reel’ love story ends and the real life begins. Where two individuals start co-existing, discovering each other’s blind spots and navigating couple goals. Not all roses, not all thorns. Now that the journey has gotten rolling, better take the scenic route buddy!
Our relationship with money is very intrinsic – a function of our upbringing, our ethos & values of workmanship and the absence (or presence) of it in early life.
Life goals tend to revolve around major financial goals like purchasing houses. Shouldn’t it be the other way around that we use our financial goals to support milestones like marriage, kids and raising a family? After all what’s the value of all the hustle we go through if not to fulfill our life desires and dreams!
In short, spend wisely, invest judiciously & save cautiously.
Empathy? Kindness? Civility? Humanity?
& all the small talk and interactions that were a social norm of the past. A hello to a stranger. A greeting to a neighbour. An exchange of pleasantries with the staff.
Let’s bring them all back, few words at a time and fill warmth and love back into this digitally hooked world!
From living life on one’s own terms as a free bird to managing the pressures of a constrained life – every person displays bravery in their own way. Saying one is stronger than the other is a very limited and conventional view colored by societal norms. Afterall every situation requires a different set of skills, values and morals to be upheld. & every person has their unique set of hardships and struggles – they may look same on the surface, but the similarities end there.
Hence labeling, bucketing and generalizing are nothing but trivializing the matter minus the depth it deserves. We all do this on a daily basis, knowingly or sub-consciously, attaching gender, color, caste, economic status as a halo effect to the person’s being. Something as trivial as relationship status, marital status, parenthood status also becomes bias for passing judgements and clouding the personality for what they have to offer. Afterall it’s easy to pass shallow judgments but difficult to understand, empathize and appreciate the positives coming out of the negative experience.
Group dynamics are interesting social settings to ponder over. & here are my observations from the past decade of friendships.
A two-person setup keeps it tight, personal and sometimes even deep. Deep gossip or deep intellectual – it can swing from either extreme. Yet it’s an unsigned deal between the two folks to keep the conversation to themselves as these are shared in privacy as both confide in each other.
Make it three individuals and the setting becomes a bit more less intimate, more formal and way more lighter. Of course it can get weird with one feeling left out while the other two bond and the dynamics get a bit odd (literally and figuratively as well). After all, the odd (wo) man out has no option but to listen in and try to fit in!
But add another person and cross-talks are an option now! Nobody feels left out as you can pick up another conversation with the fourth guy. Now it’s all fun and laughter, good humored banter sprinkled with bitching and whining where all join in with their experiences. No room for sad or serious topics here mind you as all are full of jest.
Whatever your cup of tea; tango or tri-party or full-blown party; keep sipping as much and as often from all the flavors of life. After all YOLO 😉
We meet, we talk, we expect. We get emotionally attached, we wait for replies, answers and conversations to happen.
And finally if the other person doesn’t respond, we make our own assumptions. Good, bad, ugly.
But life goes on, so stay unhooked. Keep a smile and you can jolly walk your way through this journey of life. Stay light in your heart and keep fluttering everyday. 💕
That should be you. Yes, essentially you should be the main character of your life’s story. But every story needs a good partner too, right.
So how do you find them : the perfect partner. Research, checklist, trial & error or just fate? Or a combination of a few of these. Let’s first settle what’s perfect for me and you won’t be the same – that’s called ideal. And ideal is rare, mirage, cliche. So let’s settle for defining your perfect : someone who you like spending time with, sets your heart racing, has been a good influence and gets you better than most others. That’s a keeper, keep if you can and you have found gold!
& Once you think no one’s fitting this bill, go for the next best rationale option: someone who can be a good career coach, a motivator for your goals and a complement to your personality traits.
Pros and cons lie in both the ways. Head over heart, choice or chance. It’s all in the stars, so leave it to destiny to find them for you. Just choose and stick it out.
We blame a lot of stuff on our emotions – they made me eat, get angry and spoil the day etc etc. What if we came to know thay motions aren’t external to us. They are creations of our own brain. Emotions are guesses made by our mind in congruence with our experience and knowledge of the past.
With this new bit of information, I am hopeful that I can generate emotions I want. And be aware to not generate the ones I don’t want. Which means feeling sad about broken past is in my hands. And so is turning the table around to see the same situation from a different lens. I can get objective about it, find my rationale to now feel calm that I learned a lesson from the past and I am grateful for it.
Now that you know it, go own it! & this could be your super power too.
Wallowing, pining, longing, craving, desiring, crying for lost love.
How do you picturize these words? A guy pining for his lady love. Because that’s what you mostly grew up consuming! Most songs, movies, pop culture show the male lead looking to sing for his lady love. Can we females pine, wallow, miss and remember our lost love or is this also a male dominated territory?
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