(S)mothering

Am I not doing enough? Am I micro-managing? Should I treat my kids as friends? Do I retain the Asian tiger mom version? Motherhood is not without its fair share of transitions, read on.

As a mother and primary caregiver, I often wonder where time flies. From organizing a million things to being the chief operating officer of my kids life, most days are like running a marathon amid chaos. There are emotional outbursts, physical tiffs, social standoffs and massive communication campaigns running from dawn to dusk. It’s nothing short of a mini geo-political situation to be handled everyday. Sometimes I play the plaintiff, other times the accused and most times the prison supervisor dishing out punishments appropriate for the crime at hand.

When I sit back to see the forest (and not the trees), I do see a pattern emerging. Up until my baby was about 5-6 years old, he was dependent on me for allmost everything from physiological basics to intellectual bytes. And then the major weaning off started. Just like an infant unlatches from you, this mini-me now was autonomous in what he wanted to wear to what his meal should look like. Soon enough he also started dishing out vocabulary and knowledge unknown to my cognitive depths!

Now that I have a ‘I am not a kid anymore’ situation, I better change my stance from forehand to backhand. Staying a step behind, waiting for the ball to bounce high enough before I catch it. Letting the mini-citizens exercise their rights and making them aware of their duties as well. So they get to design their daily routine and yet have to complete the chore of loading the dishwasher!

Raising kids is a mean feat, a fine walk between mothering and smothering. A delicate balance between sharing tender moments and being the stern taskmaster. Embrace this sunshine while it lasts; kids they grow faster than you would believe!