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  • Who Is Successful?

    The one with all the riches? The one with great health? Or the one with freedom to spend time at their leisure? What was once considered success maybe labelled toxic today. And that which someone aspires maybe what someone else despises!

    Historically success had a very clear, narrow and rigid definition. As you started making a living, expectations were that your earnings double, assets grow commensurately and then an ostentatious display of this wealth would announc to the world that you had arrived!

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    As most of the world reeled under the aftermath of the world wars, famines and other such crisis of humanity; this seemed a clear path to success. You were to make your survival sustainable and lineage last. In a nutshell survival of the fittest, adapted by humans to meet their social expectations. Fair and square.

    Conventional success called for conventional labels. And times have changed. We are no longer plagued by existential crisis. It is (some may say) an easier world to survive in today. Not many an educated graduates have to squander for the basics of Maslow’s hierarchy. But at the same time, basics remain the same for all. Those with a cushion, aspire a higher launch pad and can be choosy about what they want to succeed in. Those with a not so privileged start aim to be atleast ‘there’.

    To those who can, should chase their aspirations. Should choose their passion over convenience. Not saying it would be any easy, rigour is expected when you want to make it long lasting and sustainable. Choose flexibility over rigidness and balance over obsession. To those who can dare, get uncomfortable making tough choices!

  • Don’t wait. Create!

    Dreaming, wishing, thinking? Good And bad. Good because that’s how humans grow. Bad because beyond this what is required is action. To turn things into reality, to bring life to what’s been in the air until now.

    Have you often caught yourself day-dreaming? Wishing for more riches in life? Hoping for things to fall into your lap? Desiring that your mind’s wishlist come true one day? Well it’s amazing that your keep a wishlist, that you desire more in life and that you hope for betterment.

    So What next?

    But what after that? Hasn’t it been long waiting for the magic to happen. Time to wake up! & smell the reality. To take charge of what you can do. To chalk out a rough draft. To build a plan of conquering that wishlist. To put things into action. To bring to life the dreams you dreamt of.

    And how do I move?

    Easier said than done. Roll up your sleeves and do some digging. Research the critical factors required for success. Size up whether you have the right ingredients. Take baby steps with all this information. It would be scary to execute; so far all you made was a strategic path, now what you need is the courage to bring it to life.

    Build A Accountability Stack

    Take your closed group into confidence. Share your dreams and vulnerabilities with a chosen few. Make yourself accountable. Document your process, plan and progress. Big or small, consistency is the name of the game. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to start small.

    If you are reading thus far, clearly you are committed to turning your dreams into a reality. So treat yourself special and prioritize taking action. Victory always calls for courage.

  • How to (not) Spend your Weekend

    Sip, click, eat, click, post! Taking off, click, Touched down, click, Exploring new places, multiple clicks, post! Made coffee click, picked a book to read, click, post! From mundane to exotic, every moment gets framed, touched up & broadcasted.

    Talk of peer pressure, this is the zenith of it. Every age group; whether the baby-boomer granny or the collegian Gen-Z, is constantly feelling cornered to glorify their lives. To show-off to their peers how ‘happening’ their life is. It’s like a never ending hurdle race, one with no guardrails too. Someone goes all elaborate to synthesize a reel with the perfect soundtrack, somebody hastily posts a story while another sits for hours creating a perfect post with meaningful captions. And then there are those who just dump it all on their chat, making sure everyone they interact with can see their ‘status’.

    I got it too!

    All this for what? For fulfilling the deep seated need of getting acknowledged. Seeking external validation. Displaying how ‘rich’ you are. Parading precious moments of your life to make it else’s fodder. Showcasing your inner vulnerabilities or just responding to fear of FOMO. Not that every social share is intentional but these are the reasons underneath the surface.

    But isn’t reality far from the glamourous life portrayed? That hike with the perfect sling bag is more of a ramp walk in nature. Those captures shot by a drone camera are more of a ostentatious display of lifestyle than soaking the place. In essence, what you see is what they show you. And like always there are industry secrets. Beneath the rosy updates is the struggle to get one good shot, edit carefully, catch the right lighting, find the perfect soundtrack, post at an appropriate time to get most eyeballs and so on.

    Let’s embrace living IRL. Try being outside the frame for once. Free from the burden of perfection, moving at your own pace. Clicking with your eyes, capturing with your ears and letting your nerve endings feel the rush. Afterall it’s hard to explain all of this to someone who thinks sitting by the pool was the greatest time ever! But then to each her own, as long as it recharges your body, mind & soul.

  • Monk(ey)

    It is said that thoughts become us. But then thoughts we generate are also completely in our hands. While the output of all our other organs is involuntary, our thoughts are quite in our voluntary control. Not easy, but then what is?!

    The journey to training our monkey mind is tough. It requires patience and a great amount of training. Just like Rome wasnt built in a day. But then the first step is always the hardest, and a beginning made with complete intention and awareness is always purposeful.

    To train a monkey mind to become a monk mind isn’t easy. You have to train yourself to see the world differently. You got to stop fighting the multiple versions arising within, so that peace can come to you. In tactical world, it means practising mindfulness, ekagrata towards one task. So that when you do, you do just that one task and avoid meandering your mind in lost alleys.

    Near yet far

    Once you are aware, remember you got to stop carrying the world on your shoulders. Releasing things from your locus will grant you more calm. By concentrating on your breathing alone, you can be more still and mindful. If every living breathe could be felt, lived and experienced, our mind would rarely wander stray!

  • Influence Is Inspiring

    Influencers are everywhere. Every social media platform has a unique terminology for them. Yet the packaging is the same, in short, users who have amassed a huge number of ‘followers’ thereby putting themselves on a higher pedestal of worship. Some of them have even gone on to form a cult of sorts. Some achieve fandom similar to mini-celebrities. But how many of the ones inspired or following these influencers actually get moving? Or does the influence end with the browsing?

    Real influencing is when one brings some reflections from online to offline. IRL is the keyword here. It’s about actually doing things rather than just wishlisting them. Things which are beyond your comfort zone. Those that have been on the backburner since forever. They are part of the buried wishes and plans since aeons now.

    And let’s not count aping the latest fashion trend or makeup hack as getting inspired. It has to be a longer commitment making a significant lifestyle change to your old ways. Something which is both sustainable and enhances your persona.

    One way to approach action out of this bucket list of inflluencers is to rise above the scrolling and start making a list of your areas of improvement. Now prioritize this list and pick the top 2-3 at maximum. We all know anything which is a priority #4 or beyond hardly ever gets done, so let’s keep it real.

    Now fix a source of inspiration for yourself. From those multitude that you currently ‘follow’, shortlist a handful and start by drawing actionable inspiration from one at a time. This way you get a coach for what you intend to pick up. Finding a guru should be based on facts and figures, not asthetics alone! So use your cerebral cortex to customize the journey you intend to embark on. There maybe a plethora of templates, playbooks and guides off the internet and many a summaries that AI tools can generate for you, but what matters is your grey matter personalizing it to suit your lifestyle and end goals.

  • Bonds That Bind

    Met the person of your dreams & fell in love – congratulations! Now how about staying in love, years after years, for better or for worse? Ever thought how easy or difficult of a navigation could this path of love be?

    Staying in love is the real deal, this is where the hard work begins. It requires active participation, open communication and concious collaborative efforts from both ends. Often folks find the initial thrill and adrenaline rush of love starts to taper down with time. Drowing in daily routine, nothing new to discover about the other person and a sense of familiarity rubs off the shine of new love.

    Sticking together

    Finding a common ground works best. It could be anything cultural – language, food, music, dance. Sharing similar tastes in music, dance, art does help; as nurturing them together brings out different facets of your love interest. Similarly sharing a significant past whether childhood, workplace or adulthood also cements the bond further.

    Finally what is more important is how often this commonality gets visited as life gets busy. This is where the going gets real to keep working at your relationship. Make it visual by adding physically or digital artifacts. These serve as reminders to things you both cherish. Add snippets of this shared past in your talks and make it the ikigai of your relationship, your reason of being together and cultivating joy more than stress.

  • Travel With Care

    Itching to explore a new place? Want to escape the daily grind? Wish life was one big vacation? Indeed, the world is your oyster and travel you must, with care!

    Travelling is the new rich. Exotic destinations, luxurious properties, unique experiences, curated workshops, you name it and there is a segment available. Essentially the tourist is spoilt for choice. And travelling has been democratized by now, everyone is travelling to somewhere everytime you speak to them. This is good as more of us now move, observe, learn and get shaped by these travel choices. If there is one thing missing, it’s a uniform social etiquette for travellers.

    Travelling for life

    Eating local and seasonal is the best way to keep your digestive system in harmony. Not only do you savour a new cuisine, but also carry the sights, flavours and smells of the place long after your visit. Similarly sampling local handmade industries provide a glimpse of the cultural diversity and richness of the place. Interacting with native guides, hiring local drivers and other help staff gives an opportunity to mingle with the folks, listen to stories of the indigenous tribes and learn the ropes of the land. All this only makes your travel memories richer, humane and insightful – apart from the curated experiences and visits which are part of any standard itinerary.

    Just like responsible tourism, need of the hour is to systemize travel processes to balance demand supply sides. Uttarakhand, India is know for pilgrimage and adventure sports. Steps are being taken to implement tokenised entry exit of tourists so as to not burden the existing infrastructure and preserve overall tourist experience. Similarly a portable water crisis is emerging in tropical islands of Andaman & Nicobar, India where an overwhelming demand has started straining the natural resources. Pricing techniques could be applied here so as to extract profitable revenues from those who can afford to pay for premiumness. This way both profitability and accessibility can be matched. Similar mechanisms can be put too use in popular tourist places like Goa, Pondicherry where seasonality doesn’t play much role so travel demand can be evenly spread out by using pricing as an accessibility factor.

    So travel we must continue to do. Aiming to keep our ecological footprint smaller both as individuals as well as a society!

  • As I Saw It

    Cocooned, surrounded by knowledge and wisdom of books, skilled and brimming with confidence.

    Dove eyed, a rose tinted world around, laughter and words, love and warmth. Dreamy with innocence, stubborn on morals.

    Swooned by one, scammed by another, beaten but not out, rising from the ashes like the phoenix.

    Troughs & Peaks

    Impregnable focus, unending zeal. Hazy path but guarded by instincts, cracked into the big league.

    Fell again, for reasons. Half-sure, treading each day as it comes. Apologetically unkind, roughing out to start new rituals.

    Fighting conventions, time flew by. Inward focused, growing exponentially. Almost there with the juggling, change is the only constant.

  • (S)mothering

    Am I not doing enough? Am I micro-managing? Should I treat my kids as friends? Do I retain the Asian tiger mom version? Motherhood is not without its fair share of transitions, read on.

    As a mother and primary caregiver, I often wonder where time flies. From organizing a million things to being the chief operating officer of my kids life, most days are like running a marathon amid chaos. There are emotional outbursts, physical tiffs, social standoffs and massive communication campaigns running from dawn to dusk. It’s nothing short of a mini geo-political situation to be handled everyday. Sometimes I play the plaintiff, other times the accused and most times the prison supervisor dishing out punishments appropriate for the crime at hand.

    When I sit back to see the forest (and not the trees), I do see a pattern emerging. Up until my baby was about 5-6 years old, he was dependent on me for allmost everything from physiological basics to intellectual bytes. And then the major weaning off started. Just like an infant unlatches from you, this mini-me now was autonomous in what he wanted to wear to what his meal should look like. Soon enough he also started dishing out vocabulary and knowledge unknown to my cognitive depths!

    Now that I have a ‘I am not a kid anymore’ situation, I better change my stance from forehand to backhand. Staying a step behind, waiting for the ball to bounce high enough before I catch it. Letting the mini-citizens exercise their rights and making them aware of their duties as well. So they get to design their daily routine and yet have to complete the chore of loading the dishwasher!

    Raising kids is a mean feat, a fine walk between mothering and smothering. A delicate balance between sharing tender moments and being the stern taskmaster. Embrace this sunshine while it lasts; kids they grow faster than you would believe!

  • Concious uncoupling

    When silence takes center stage. When there is comfort in avoidance. When it is best to fall out of touch than stay in touch. Both sides let time and tide wash it away. Quiet. Concious. Disconnected.

    A term made fashionable by the Hollywood actor Gywneth Platrow – silent divorce describes the above situation accurately. There is quiet quitting, and act of growing apart, slowly albeit steadily. A noiseless separation that isn’t conjectured in a day but has been in the making since years, decades perhaps. Partners falll out of love, liking and eventually co-existence. No drama, no pressure just pack up and move on.

    It’s rampant these days, not just amongst married couples but even other relationships. Friendships are more often than not ending this way. Falling in and out of love and companionship is the reason here too. You grow ‘bored’ of a bestie and latch onto another, more often than not only to move onto another. Often the courtesies are exchanged and being ‘in the radar’ is no more considered insulting even if you were 3am friends at one time. Even in families you see siblings no more emotionally connected to the umbilical cord or to each other. They live together or apart, function in harmony when required but act in complete autonomy and isolation of each other (or even the parents at times)!

    It can be termed emotional conservation – where you want to save your feelings and not spend them unnecessarily by ‘sweating on the small stuff’. This also saves one from the societal pressure of living with one’s partner or family. Thus saved from the stigma, everyone can live and let live. Carrying on with the parallel lives, non aligned but cooperative where need be!